Thursday, June 4, 2009

We'll love again, We'll laugh again, and it's better off this way

Couple of things, people.

I'm still reeling, coming off a bad break up.
I'm still out of school, making money to go back.
Life's just all screwed up.

It's funny because I look back at my last post, which was darn near a year ago. Everything seemed like it was going for the better. It's funny how events take a turn for the worse when you least expect it.

The good news is, I'm on the road to recovery, and I think I actually am ready to start this blog. On a serious note.

My name is Calvin, and I have spent the last 20 years of live, believing that I was the most misunderstood person to ever crawl out of the womb.
My name is Calvin, and I used to do things I loved; like draw anime, dance, and write poetry.
My name is Calvin, and I went to college for one year and essentially dropped out due to no scholarship and low funds.

..My name is Calvin, and I refuse to feel sorry for myself any longer. It's time to start living life.

The only thing I can say I've been doing right from default, is being myself. With this blog, I will attempt to enlighten everyone else as to who I am, as a last ditch effort at trying to be understood.

My name is Calvin, and I have secret sources of inspiration.
I look around and see nothing but people who are doing for themselves, and moving forward. I feel like my life has been in slow motion since elementary school. Like I've just been floating by. I'm 20, and there is so much I haven't done. If not for my mother, I'd have gone insane a long time ago if I'm not already there.

But I have motivation now. Motivation to do for myself. I always thought that if I put others first, God would provide for me, being that I showed my brother love. I still believe in chivalry, but I think I need to start looking deep inside myself and doing some damage control. If I had to describe the inside of my mind, I'd have to say war-carnage. I have had so much disappointment thrown my way in the last few years, it's sickening. There's always someone worse off, but the point is, is that I'd fallen off the side of the rode.

Time to pick up the bike. Get back on. Start pedaling.

I'll solve this puzzle, problem by problem and be a better person for it in the end.
Everyone else is just a witness. I just need to be able to talk to myself, without thinking I'm crazy.

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